UpDate

Ooooh dear. Sigh. It's been a long slog here in Edmonton. I still have a stack of other entries that are all in my draft section, but alas I don't think I'll be able to catch up until I am back home again. So this is a quick entry - just to say that I still have faith in the Fringe, that I still love how much one can get accomplished here, but that my bright shiny naivete may be slightly tarnished. I'm a little weary. And some things have become wearying.

On the upside - I have met even more wonderful people here. Tim, who is also staying at Trevor's place for the duration, has been lovely to get to know. He is doing a show based on his experiences on a Reality Show - of all things - for the Life Network - of all networks - that followed a bunch of English teachers around Taipei. It's a very interesting show - and Tim is a lovely, gentle guy. There are a lot of Brits here too - After the Picnic is a lovely, physical show starring two ridiculously beautiful Brits, Ian and Zoe, and a super gal from Vermont, Susan. Susan's studied in Moscow, so she's going to give me tips on who to see/what to do if I actually make my way there this winter.

On the downside - I feel a little nauseated these days. Emotionally, at least. I'm letting things eat away at me - literally. Food has been unappealing. I had a silly episode in an ice cream parlour - Trevor bought me an ice cream and I burst into tears: I didn't deserve such kindness. I feel so unworthy sometimes. Reminds me of the last time I was feeling pretty low and I thought, hey, I should stop mulling over myself and think of someone else for a change. So I decided to give blood. What a debacle that was! The ladies gave me cookies and chicken noodle soup and I burst into tears! How could they be so nice to me! They don't even know me! And there I lay on the gurney, my life blood draining away into a bag, huge globe like tears rolling silently down my cheeks. "Hey sweetie, are you all right? Let me get you a cool cloth for your forehead. It's all right, we all feel low sometimes. You should go home and take care of yourself, sweetie." Oh God, don't they know that only makes it worse? Kindness makes me fall to pieces, it really does.

Off to the Water Park at West Edmonton Mall, and then to flog my 10:15 pm (sigh) show.

N.