Words, words, words

I am sick of words.

But I can't seem to escape them. I spend my days writing, reading, and writing some more. Even when I am trying to relax, what do I do? Read a book. Or the paper. Do a crossword. Allllll words. Even this morning, I couldn't leave the house for an hour because I was transfixed, standing in the kitchen fully dressed to leave wearing hat, parka, boots, gloves in hand, re-arranging the Shakespearean Magnetic Poetry on my fridge. I couldn't tear myself away until I'd put a certain amount of words in a satisfying order. There's something creepily OCD about it. I couldn't believe an hour had gone. As if that isn't enough, let's say I'm walking somewhere to try to get away from thinking and from words - I wind up having conversations with people - IN MY HEAD. I'm sure there must be some people who think I'm nuts. A character from a show I'm writing will start talking spontaneously and either I'll answer them or I'll speak out loud for them. A little disturbing. And let's say I'm actually someplace with somebody - I'll drift off for patches of time that I'm sure are misunderstood as "comfortable silences." In fact I am having full blown conversations with them - ONLY THEY DON'T KNOW IT. Because they are answering me IN MY HEAD. Sometimes I have difficulty finding the right words to say because I have too many other conversations swimming around my head. I have to pick the words one by one out of noisy push of verbiage surging across my brain like a fisherman spearing mackeral in a rushing stream. I like typing better than writing longhand because typing is the only thing that comes close to the speed of my thoughts. They gush like overflowing bathwater down a staircase. I have to find a way to turn off the taps once in a while.

Even when I'm not reading or writing or listening to the tv or the radio (which are all tightly packed with words) I might be doing something like designing a poster. Fewer words, more pictures, but still a visual way of communicating.

I am beginning to think that I have trouble communicating on the phone or in person because I can't SEE the words. I should tie a cool cloth around my eyes for a couple of days and see if I can turn off the visual communication for a few days. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted from it.

And with that little gush I'll close this vein for the day. Better luck to you all.

- Falcon.